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Tag: Christmas

on how Christmas is not always wonderful.

November 29, 2016November 29, 20161 Comment

Holidays are fast approaching. You might be delighted, but for many this season brings dread. Christmas isn't always the most wonderful time of the year.

on conquering the holiday hustle.

November 13, 2016November 14, 20161 Comment

Let's strive for an experience that is in line with our goals and values, rather than get lost in the holiday hustle.

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Portrait of a Winnipegger on the first spring-like day. Feeling all the delightful feels remembering how incredible the sensation of warm sun on skin is. Spring is so exciting. I simply adore that after everything is cold and dark and barren, that things change and hope returns and the cold ends and skin soaks up sunshine again. I ♥️ sunshine and warmth and hope. And that the dark doesn't last forever. #winnipeg #winter #spring #feelslikespring #grateful #warmth #change #hope #snowman #bluesky #warmskin #perspective #shift #seasons #gratitude #ywg

Let me ramble with you? Today started early, like 5am early as a kid needed to get out the door for a field trip at an unholy hour. So at 6:15 I was at Starbucks, getting tea because it's even too early for coffee then. Some gentlemen commented as I entered that they thought I might've been Larry, their early morning coffee friend who had been MIA this week and happened to drive the same vehicle. I assured them Larry was probably doing the wise thing, sleeping - and one gentleman was quick to assure me I was cuter than Larry. Harmless. Sure. Annoying? Always. But at 6:15 I let it slide. I was too tired to say anything about how we should just stop talking about bodies. But that energy followed me into the day. This was the start, and so continued my thoughts around bodies and consent and patriarchy (that's what 5am will do!) It only ramped up when my kid described an upsetting sequence of events from school involving boundaries not being respected, and it left me reflecting on consent and boundaries and regulation and discomfort tolerance. These are cursory thoughts. So please be gentle if I'm missing things? But what I was thinking about is this. We validate the discomfort of crossed boundaries, and work hard to help people learn to say no. To assert themselves. To set limits. We work hard to help people respect hearing someone's no and to back off. To not move in and towards when a boundary is set. But what I was left wondering is do we help the person hearing the "no" with the emotional impact of that? And is this a missing piece around education with consent? Hearing no and not getting what we want can be an intense experience. A painful experience. A difficult thing to hold, and perhaps something that can be dysregulating. I wonder how many people - young or old - struggle with honouring consent because the trauma of rejection and emotion that accompanies not getting what was desired is too much to bear? So in an effort to avoid these feelings, they simply reach harder for the thing that is off limits? Continued.

About a year ago we were in the throes of a renovation that would never end. It was a down-to-the-studs gut job and required an unearthing of all the things. It was longer, harder, and cost more than anticipated. Even though it didn't ever seem like it would be over, and like chaos was permanent - it ended. And the space slowly took shape and was habitable once again. And yet as exciting as habitable was, it also wasn't done. The last ten months has seen a slowing of pace and intensity, yet a continued collecting and rearranging of things that move the space from habitable to homey. It's finally feeling like things are pulled together. Walls adorned. Accessories collected. Finishing touches complete. From hereon in, it is maintenance and updating. This process in so many ways served as a mirror of what happens in therapy. At some point a person decides their insides are no longer functioning well under the old layout. And so a harder, longer, and often more expensive and ever so gruelling renovation begins. For a season things feel uninhabitable - like everything that was and made sense puked itself on the front lawn. Everything is in disarray. So many things are thanked for their service, and then discarded. Eventually the new space takes shape. It forms and flows and slowly you can ease into it. But livable isn't the end point. Continued tweaks and shifts and collecting of new ideas and information and ways of being happen - and after a season of using the new space it will hopefully begin to feel like home. If you are doing the hard work of interior renovations in your own self, I hope you can be generous with time. You aren't off track. You aren't doing it wrong. This is just long, slow, hard and oftentimes frustrating work. Yet on the other end? There is so much beauty waiting for you, and it will make all of the effort worth it in the end. You deserve a beautiful life. Keep digging and discarding and collecting and learning new ways. Beauty and goodness and peace and rest are for you, you can do it. #therapy #renovation #homeoffice #basement #workfromhome #sometimes #hardwork #worthit #metaphor #love #home #homedecor #office #officedecor #wpg

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FEELING OVERWHELMED?

The process of finding a counsellor and the thought of starting to explore your story more deeply can be an incredibly exhausting experience. Be kind to yourself in the hours, days, and weeks ahead as you press into these tough spaces. Take a short walk. Drink some water. Have a snack. Breath deeply. Make time for rest.